Control the controllable? But what can we control?

 

Do not waste your time, energy, and resources on the things you cannot control. Instead, focus on the things you can control. The ancient Stoics call this the Dichotomy of Control. This is perhaps the best advice I have ever received: control the controllable.

At first glance, this seems easy—almost oversimplistic. However, putting this philosophy into practice has proven to be challenging. In my experience, distinguishing the things in life I can control from those I cannot is, in itself, no easy task.

More often than not, we think we are in control when what we actually have is the illusion of control. We like to believe that we are conscious and rational beings, but experience teaches us otherwise. Our subconscious, which often overrides rational thinking, is far more powerful than we care to admit. We are not driving—we are being driven.

The irony of not doing anything

Have you ever tried sitting still for a while with the intention of not doing anything, or not thinking of something? Or tried to banish a negative thought from your mind? And did it work? We tend to believe that doing nothing is easy, but ironically, it is hard work. It requires commitment and concentration not to think of something.

This realization leads me to ask: if happiness and contentment are found by focusing on what we can control, then what are the things in our lives over which we have actual control? In my attempt to reflect on this question, I turn to my newfound passion—swimming—for inspiration.

Learning to swim freestyle

For quite some time now, I have developed an affinity for swimming. When I visit the city’s public pool, I see people swimming freestyle beautifully. They make it look effortless. Initially, I thought, I can do that as well. Reality, however, tells me otherwise.

Much like the main tenet of Stoicism—the Dichotomy of Control—swimming freestyle is not as easy as it seems. It requires a conscious decision to commit and to train. Mastery does not come without effort.

My decision to master the freestyle technique has two advantages. First, learning a new skill is beneficial to our mental health. Second, it offers an opportunity to train a Stoic mindset.

Being Stoic while swimming

When training, I do not have control over how that training will turn out. Whether it will be successful or not lies largely beyond my control. 

Following the teachings of Stoic philosophy, it would therefore be futile to fixate on the outcome of my training, and unwise to be upset when a session turns out to be unsuccessful. And I have had many unsuccessful training sessions so far.

So instead, I try to focus on what I can control—namely, maintaining calm and composure. When practicing, my nerves often get the best of me. 

I become tense, which negatively affects my swimming. My movements grow rushed and uncontrolled.

Realizing what you can control

But then I realized that I do not even have full control over my nerves. Once I start the freestyle strokes, anxiety takes over. I assumed I could simply command myself to be calm, but even that proved to be outside the sphere of my control.

It seems that the only thing I can truly control, at least for the time being, is my response to failure: to continue practicing freestyle despite it.

After all, an unsuccessful training can only hurt me if I receive it as a failure. When received as valuable feedback, however, it becomes an opportunity for improvement.

With this in mind, it is entirely up to me whether I choose to enjoy the process or not. And that, at least, is something I can control.