Remaining Stoic When Swimming

 

Swimming has many benefits for both our physical and mental health. That is quite clear and beyond debate. For me, however, I want to take the benefits of swimming one step further: it provides me with an opportunity to train my Stoic mindset.

It was only in my adult life that I developed an affinity for swimming. In fact, just a few years ago, I did not know how to swim at all.

Deep water was an object of fear for me. But after gathering my courage, I decided to face that fear and began taking swimming lessons. Even now that I can swim decently, the familiar anxious feeling of possibly drowning still sneaks up on me from time to time.

Despite my fear of deep water, however, I have gradually developed a genuine affinity for swimming. It has become a passion of mine — so much so that my swimming sessions often determine my mood.

If a practice goes well, my mood is lifted. But if, for some reason, the session does not go as I had hoped, I cannot help but feel deflated. In any case, I remain determined to work hard so that my swimming skills continue to improve.

In both respects — conquering my fear and improving my skills — the philosophy of Stoicism has played, and continues to play, a crucial role.

Establishing A Pre-Swimming Ritual

Before plunging into the pool, it is important to pause for a while and set your intention. This will be my pre-swimming ritual.

Rituals are potent, and it will therefore do you good to establish one. In my experience, rituals can prepare the mind and body when facing challenges.

When done properly and intentionally, rituals — however small they may be — place you in a certain state of mind from which strength and determination can flow.

They can make you brave, but also kind to yourself. They help you let go of the things you cannot control.

So, let me pause for a while…

Control the controllable? But what can we control?

 

Do not waste your time, energy, and resources on the things you cannot control. Instead, focus on the things you can control. The ancient Stoics call this the Dichotomy of Control. This is perhaps the best advice I have ever received: control the controllable.

At first glance, this seems easy—almost oversimplistic. However, putting this philosophy into practice has proven to be challenging. In my experience, distinguishing the things in life I can control from those I cannot is, in itself, no easy task.

More often than not, we think we are in control when what we actually have is the illusion of control. We like to believe that we are conscious and rational beings, but experience teaches us otherwise. Our subconscious, which often overrides rational thinking, is far more powerful than we care to admit. We are not driving—we are being driven.

Being Stoic While Swimming: Focus on what you can control, let go of what you can't

The Philosophy of Stoicism teaches us that in order to have a happy and peaceful life, we have to learn how to focus our time and energy to the things we can control. Stoics refer to this as the “Dichotomy of Control” (DOC). This also implies that obsessing about things in our lives we cannot change is not only futile, but could also make us anxious, frustrated, and unhappy. A prinicple I apply with my passion, namely, swimming. 

In his online article What Many People Misunderstand about the Stoic Dichotomy of Control, Michael Tremblay provides a straightforward description of DOC. He writes: 

DOC is often represented in the following way: 

1. Everything is either something we control, or don’t control.
2. We control our emotions, behaviour, and reactions to situations.
3. We don’t control anything else, like other people’s behaviours or what they think of us. 
4. If we wish to be happy/better people, we should focus on the things in our control, namely our behaviour and our reactions to situations.

Here, Tremblay is able to pin down the core teaching of Stoicism in such a way that is accessible to us. So much so, that at first glance, it may seem too simplistic. Too obvious even. We do not need a philosopher coming from an ivory tower to tell us that focusing on the things we cannot change is a waste of time and energy. But have you tried letting go of the things, events and encounters that are outside the realm of your control? It is easier said than done, right? 

Some Reflections on The Philosophy of Stoicism

The moment I discovered Mark Tuitert’s book, Drive: Train Je Stoïcijnse Mindset (Drive: Train Your Stoic Mindset), was the moment I was introduced to this ancient philosophy called Stoicism. And as someone who writes almost obsessively, I immediately felt at home with this philosophy. In my previous post, The (Stoic) Philosophy of Writing, I demonstrated how writing is closely linked with Stoicism.

But of course, Stoicism is more than being able to assess your thoughts and life through writing alone. It also differs significantly from how we use the word stoic (with a lowercase s) today. In a nutshell, the philosophy of Stoicism is about remaining calm and maintaining perspective in times of setbacks, adversity, and chaos by focusing your time and energy on the things that lie within your sphere of control.

Thanks to Mark Tuitert’s book, this way of thinking and living was introduced to me. This philosophy has helped me greatly in regulating stress and anxiety, and in reshaping how I relate to setbacks.

The (Stoic) Philosophy of Writing

In his article The Stoic Art of Journaling, modern Stoic Ryan Holiday states that “journaling is Stoicism” — the two are intertwined. One cannot truly be Stoic without writing. From this point of view, the act of writing itself becomes philosophy in practice, which is not surprising, given that writing demands retrospection.

Stoicism is a philosophy emerged in ancient Griece around 300 B.C.. The three prominent ancient Stoics we know today are Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius, and Seneca. They all share one common habit: journaling.

Thanks to Marcus Aurelius’ Meditations, we can learn so much about this ancient wisdom and benefit from it even today. Modern Stoics suggest that Marcus Aurelius wrote his meditations religiously in the morning, preparing himself for the day ahead. Writing was his way of setting the tone for the day and maintaining focus on what he could control.

It is therefore not too far-fetched to assume that we were not his intended audience — he wrote for himself. And yet his meditations, originally meant to help him become a calm and content person, now serve as an inspiration for all who wish to follow his example.

And I believe this is what separates Stoic journaling from journaling in general. Stoics write to assess their thoughts and actions, to commit themselves to focusing on what they can control (the central tenet of Stoicism), and to engage in a profound and honest dialogue with their inner self.

Becoming a prolific diarist

Queen Victoria is not only one of the most illustrious monarchs in British history, she was also a prolific diarist. Experts estimate that she wrote, on average, between 2,000 and 2,500 words a day throughout her adult life.

A powerful and famous monarch I am not, but like Queen Victoria, I am—although not nearly as prolific—also a diarist. I started keeping a journal as an adult, during a period when I was struggling with a personal crisis.

Journaling helped me get through that crisis, and it still keeps me balanced and focused as I navigate daily challenges. My journal is a friend who does not judge, and a therapist who never sends me an invoice.

Favourite Links

Here are some of my favourite links about various topics I would certainly revisit. This page is therefore never finished, because it will be regularly updated. 

On writing

Trouw, 22 november 2025, Tijdgeest, Sterft het handschrift uit? ‘Het zou voor ons allemaal beter zijn als we wat vaker de pen pakken’

Trouw, Dagboeken worden populairder. ‘Op socials deel ik het ideale plaatje, in mijn dagboeken schrijf ik álles’

Philosophy of Stoicism 

Ryan Holyday, The Stoic Art of Journaling 

How to create a (mental) space conducive to writing?

There is a Dutch saying: een dag niet gelachen is een dag niet geleefd. Loosely translated: a day without laughter is a day not lived. A beautiful proverb I fully agree with.

In the context of writing, I’d like to borrow that proverb and say: a day you haven’t written is a day you haven’t fully lived. It may sound slightly dramatic, but it captures just how important writing is to me. In my previous post,  Writing for the Sake of Writing: How Writing Can Save You, I mentioned how writing helps keep my emotions balanced and my thoughts in check.

But while writing can be therapeutic and meditative, it can also be intimidating. Silencing your inner critic is challenging once it takes over. I still remember writing my thesis years ago — I was in agony! And yet, I miss it.

If you’re like me — someone who has an affinity for writing and is at the same time intimidated by it — then maybe you’ll benefit from creating a mental and/or physical space that is conducive to writing.

It is also important to note that having that writing space, whether mental or physical, does not guarantee motivation. Experience has taught me that motivation comes after I start working, not before. A writing space becomes useless if you simply sit there waiting for inspiration to descend from the heavens. Still, it is wonderful to have a space in your home — and in your life — dedicated to writing.

Writing for the Sake of Writing: How Writing Can Save You

The desire to be a writer—or more accurately, my desire to write—began many years ago. Even before I stumbled upon a book in a bookstore when I was in my early twenties. The title was Hoe Schrijf Ik Een Boek: Het Schrijven van Non-Fictie (How to Write a Book: Non-Fiction Writing) by Roy Martina and Willem Jan van Wetering. That book became fuel for an already burning desire to write.

As you may have noticed, the book is in Dutch. And Dutch is not my mother tongue. In fact, if we’re being precise, it’s not even my second language. That’s one of the main reasons I felt such elation and satisfaction when I finished reading it. I still remember that feeling vividly.

Finishing a book—and truly understanding it—brings a profound sense of accomplishment. So I often wonder: how would it feel to write a book and see it published? Will I ever experience that moment?

Whether I do or not, nothing can stop me from writing every day. Writing feels like an unrequited love. I love it deeply, even if it doesn’t always love me back. And I ask for nothing in return. How’s that for a metaphor?

Writing 10 Minutes a Day: Building A Writing Habit

 

One of the many reasons I started this blog is so that I can write every day. The goal is to build a daily writing habit, because for someone who claims to have an affinity with writing, I’m not actually writing enough.

And if I have hours to waste mindlessly scrolling through social media, I certainly can spare ten minutes to write thoughtfully. Therefore, having no time to write is not an excuse.

I completely agree with what Wendy Laura Belcher wrote in her book Writing Your Journal Article in 12 Weeks: A Guide to Academic Publishing Success:

“You are not too busy to write; you are busy because you do not write. Busy-ness is what you do to explain your not writing.”

It’s from this book that I learned it only takes ten minutes of daily writing to become a prolific writer — or in my case, a prolific blogger. In this blog, I’d like to put Belcher’s principle into practice.

Free Time Management — and Why It Can Be Quite Challenging

Time management is one thing, but managing your own time — the time when you’re not working — is quite another. For me, managing my free time is often more challenging than managing my working hours.

Structure is very important to me, and I think that applies to many of us. Without it, I tend to feel bored — and sometimes even anxious about trivial things. Work provides that structure.

That’s why I see my job as a crucial part of my life. It’s not only a source of income or achievement, but also a source of daily rhythm and purpose.

I work 40 hours a week, Monday to Friday — the standard 9-to-5 lifestyle. On paper, that sounds busy. But in reality, I still find myself with plenty of time to get bored. And boredom, to me, feels painful — a massive waste of precious time.

Hello, world! The Ray Explorer is here

You can call me Ray — and as you might guess, I love exploring. When we explore, we discover and learn new things, which in turn broadens our horizons.

In this blog, I’ll document the thoughts, ideas, and events that capture my imagination. Along the way, I hope to meet others who share similar interests.

My greatest passion is history — especially the Middle Ages. I’m endlessly fascinated by the historical contexts from which ideas, artifacts, and events emerge. I love visiting museums not just for the art, but for the zeitgeist each piece represents.

I’m also a language enthusiast. At the moment, I’m learning Spanish, and I’m thoroughly enjoying the journey — every new word feels like another step into a different culture.

In many ways, what I am planning to do here is to take notes. This blog will serve as my notebook. 

Writing is another joy of mine. Maintaining a blog feels like the closest thing to being a writer — and I’ve started quite a few blogs in the past. Sadly, many of them faded away over time. But I hope The Ray Explorer will endure longer than the rest and continue to grow as I do.